What Are We Even Wearing Anymore?! (Season 2, Episode 16)
A conversation with Britt, Rach, and Bec
What Are We Even Wearing Anymore?!
We’re sharing our fashion frustrations in this episode. We’re Millennials and Gen Z has opinions about what we should be wearing. We don’t want to be Regina’s Mum in Mean Girls trying to keep up with teenagers, but we also don’t want to be the Eighties Dad, who kept wearing his acid washed jeans long after everyone else moved on.
We’re grappling with changing bodies and lifestyles as well as fear of seeming frivolous in theologically conservative circles. We believe God made the world beautiful and it is okay to enjoy beautiful things. Think of this as part two of the conversation: Awe is Not a Side Hustle.
Let’s break it down. What are we even wearing anymore?!
Today, we’re exploring:
🎧 What we were wearing in the 2000s (and would never go back to!)
🎧 Our current and longstanding frustrations with getting dressed
🎧 The influences of church culture (90s purity culture! Tee shirts over bathers!) and secular culture (clothes as identity, micro trends, and consumer culture) on getting dressed.
🎧 Gospel truths that encourage us as we make choices about what to wear
🎧 The nitty gritty: what’s helping us get dressed right now.
Bios:
Britt: Britt is an accredited mental health social worker who lives with her husband and three children. She works in private practice in Mt Lawley and has a special interest in treatments for complex trauma and perinatal mental health. When she’s not working or wrangling small children, she’s taking in mindless celebrity info, thinking about what to eat next, and considering a return to running.
Rach: Rach is a part time Emergency Clinical Nurse, full time wife and mum. She works in a metro emergency department and thrives on the adrenaline filled atmosphere of the critical care environment. On her days off, she’s ferrying her three kids to school and their various activities, listening to podcasts with one AirPod in, sending memes to her husband, and dreaming about what to cook for dinner.
Bec: Bec is married to Zac and they have three boys. She became a Christian at 18 years old after someone read the gospel of Luke with her. She is the founder of Stories I’d Tell You at Dinner and The After Dinner Mint podcast. Her spiritual gift is losing things. You can find more at The Sunday Morning Snuggle.
Mentioned in today’s episode:
On Socks and Spider Orchids (Bec’s essay)
The Radical Disciple: Wholehearted Christian Living by John Stott
The story where Romans cast lots of Jesus’ clothing is recounted in all four gospels of the New Testament: Matthew 27:35, Mark 15:24, Luke 23:34, and John 19:23–24.
25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[e]?
28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. (Matthew 6:25-34)
“Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it is thinking of yourself less.” C.S. Lewis
If you enjoyed this episode, sign up for honest stories in your inbox on Wednesdays (March through November) from local Christian women. It’s all free 💛
Transcript
00:03.22
Rach
Hey guys, it's Rach. Welcome back to Season Two of the After Dinner Mint podcast. I'm here today with Britt and Bec and we figure you all know us by now and you've heard our intro and they're real awkward for us to do.
00:21.23
Rach
So, if you'd like to read a bit more about us, they're all in the show notes. But instead of an intro, we've opted for some icebreakers.
00:25.35
Britt
Yeah.
00:28.35
Rach
So, Girls, ah given today's topic, please tell us, what were you wearing in the early 2000s? What did you love but now look back on and cringe?
00:39.97
Rach
Bec?
00:42.90
Bec
Uh, yes. Okay. Well, I was thinking about my hair and I do remember I had the two-tone hair. So, I had like white blonde on the top, but also like basically a brown that was almost a black underneath.
00:48.73
Rach
Oh, sorry.
00:54.71
Bec
And it was like cut away.
00:55.32
Rach
Oh, a reverse skunk.
00:56.98
Bec
I know. I know. I really was. And like, you know, the... Oh, my gosh. And the sunnies. The sunnies. Those big sunnies as well as I think I'm pretty sure at some point I did go through a phase where everything was red, black and white.
01:07.77
Rach
Yes.
01:12.75
Bec
So, I had like, you know.
01:16.06
Rach
So cool.
01:16.50
Bec
I was like, these are my three colours and this is where I live now. So, yeah.
01:20.02
Rach
Yeah.
01:20.80
Bec
Britt?
01:22.81
Britt
Yeah, so early 2000s would have been the end of high school for me and sadly what I remember is low-rise jeans but then you wore like a belt but it wasn't the fabric belt, what were they? It constantly looked like you were layering. Like a lot of layering yeah so
01:28.60
Bec
Me too. Yeah.
01:37.34
Rach
I was going to say this was my one.
01:39.91
Bec
Oh yes.
01:40.14
Rach
The modesty belt.
01:41.07
Bec
Yes.
01:41.72
Rach
Yes, yes, yes
01:43.45
Bec
Oh yeah. And then there also be like a shirt.
01:48.34
Rach
yes. Or that really long singlet from Supre that had the lace at the bottom.
01:53.59
Britt
Yes.
01:53.66
Rach
you remember that?
01:53.82
Bec
Yes.
01:54.36
Rach
Yes.
01:55.45
Bec
Yes.
01:55.59
Britt
Yeah, some of the current trends I'm like, no, I literally can't go back there.
01:58.70
Bec
Oh, it's like going to Kmart and you're like, ah, your clothes are so bad.
02:00.51
Britt
Like the lace camis, yeah,
02:00.85
Rach
back.
02:04.79
Rach
Yeah, it's gross.
02:04.85
Britt
yes, it's too much. And I also did layer the polos but with the popped collars.
02:10.68
Rach
The pop collar. Yes, I vividly remember that.
02:12.50
Britt
Yeah.
02:13.76
Rach
Oh, no.
02:14.55
Britt
Yeah, it was tragic really what I used to wear.
02:14.70
Bec
Oh,
02:16.09
Rach
My condolences.
02:16.63
Britt
But that's, yeah, dresses over jeans, also into it.
02:20.39
Rach
I don't... Yeah.
02:20.85
Bec
I had a green polo.
02:21.32
Rach
And the weird, like, big belt.
02:23.45
Bec
Oh,
02:23.68
Rach
Yeah.
02:24.92
Britt
Yeah, yeah, it was pretty, like I don't really enjoy photos from that time.
02:25.100
Rach
Cool, man. Neither. That's fair.
02:29.80
Britt
They're pretty bad.
02:31.26
Rach
Yeah. A lot of mine is all that weird, yeah, like I want to wear low-rise jeans, but how do I stop people from seeing my butt crack? I know, a little thing that read.
02:43.25
Britt
Yes.
02:43.99
Rach
I could just wear jeans that went higher, but you couldn't buy them at the time. So, yeah.
02:48.84
Bec
Oh, I'm like, why did we have low rise jeans and crop tops?
02:49.75
Britt
No, not on my budget.
02:51.35
Rach
no
02:53.27
Bec
Just why?
02:53.52
Rach
Oh, the dream. o
02:55.09
Britt
Well, and also, I never felt comfortable in the low-rise jeans despite having a teenager's body at the time.
02:58.39
Rach
No.
03:01.06
Rach
It's a risky, risky option.
03:01.09
Britt
I constantly felt self-conscious.
03:03.74
Rach
Yes. All right. Well, in light of that, this episode is all about our fashion frustrations. We are all Millennials and Gen Z has opinions about what we should be wearing.
03:14.43
Rach
We don't want to be Regina George's Mum from Mean Girls trying to keep up with the teenagers, but we also don't want to be like those dads in the 80s who kept wearing their acid wash jeans ah a lot longer than after everyone else had moved on.
03:18.20
Britt
Hmm.
03:28.56
Rach
ah We're grappling with changing bodies and lifestyles as well as fear of seeming vapid and frivolous in theologically conservative circles. We believe that God made the world beautiful and it is okay to enjoy beautiful things. So, let's break it down.
03:44.31
Rach
What are we even wearing anymore? All right, so question one. What are your current frustrations with either A, getting dressed or B, historical hang-ups?
03:58.64
Rach
ah We'll start with Brit because we started with Bec before.
04:02.52
Britt
My current frustration schedule is getting dressed. I feel like on a day-to-day, just casual getting dressed, I'm like, yep, cool.
04:13.88
Britt
I have an idea in my head of what I want to wear. Mostly I want to be comfortable and I don't mind the whole baggy 10-year-old boy look because it's genuinely so comfortable. So, in winter, it's like a baggy jumper and baggy jeans and a pair of sneakers and.
04:23.51
Rach
Hmm.
04:29.39
Britt
I'm comfortable. I can go about my day and do what I need to do. The place where I can't work out what to wear is when I'm going to work. What am I wearing to work? Like how do I look professional but approachable but also express some of my own style without wearing office clothes, which is essentially what I started the workplace in was office wear.
04:49.04
Rach
Yeah. Mm-hmm.
04:51.72
Britt
I don't want to look like a 10-year-old boy when I’m work. And if I like happen to be going out for dinner, I'm like, I well, but now I need to look kind of nicer, but like I don't actually have those clothes and I don't really need them because I'm wearing the casual clothes most of the days because I have younger kids.
05:09.35
Britt
So that's my current dilemma.
05:09.55
Rach
So, what you're saying is those like Women's Day magazines that are like, how do I make it a day to night look? That's the current problem.
05:16.92
Bec
oh man
05:18.89
Britt
I can't day to night.
05:20.88
Rach
Yeah.
05:21.68
Britt
I never went I never went day to night.
05:23.100
Rach
Neither did I. It never came up, but now here you are.
05:25.94
Britt
Yeah, it never happened. But day to night, like if you're meant to be able to wear the outfit into the night.
05:31.99
Rach
Yes.
05:32.21
Britt
like I'm not wearing that outfit into the night. Also, it's probably dirty.
05:36.76
Rach
but yeah, fair.
05:39.06
Britt
So yeah. And then body hangups, I guess like, yeah, I think being a Millennial, we got lots of messaging around our bodies. Like, if you find a clip for two seconds on America's Next Top Model from the 2000s, it wasn't like it was being hidden.
05:53.33
Rach
Oh yeah.
05:54.65
Bec
Oof.
05:57.85
Britt
It was being overtly projected at us all the time. So, I think being part of that generation, you've always got weird things about your body that other people don't even think about. But of course, like that comes to mind from time to time.
06:11.60
Rach
For sure. Bec.
06:14.55
Bec
Even on that, Britt, just as a sidebar, just now we're not even comparing ourselves to actual models. It's just like, here's this AI thing that looks perfect. You're like, I'm not even comparing myself to a real person anymore.
06:24.96
Bec
Like that's even terrifying.
06:25.83
Rach
Yeah.
06:26.10
Britt
Yes.
06:27.60
Bec
06:28.53
Rach
yeah
06:29.40
Bec
Yes, the hangups. I think it's like frustrating because I can sometimes just look at my wardrobe and be like why do I, why do I have nothing to wear? I generally hate everything I'm wearing. It feels very frumpy. I don't know what it is, but I think,
06:42.96
Bec
yeah, I mean, I've worked out some of it. I do think I have a very clear memory and I think I wrote an essay about it was just the smallest thing that sent me insane was actually just the socks, realising that everyone else was wearing like these high socks.
07:02.52
Bec
And I was like, oh, I'm wearing my little socks because I'm a Millennial and that's how people know. And I was like, if I, can't get the socks right, like,
07:07.41
Rach
Oh, yeah.
07:11.38
Bec
what else, you know, what else should I be doing? And I was like, I don't, I don't want to look like a teenager, but I don't want to have like completely given up in my life. like
07:21.56
Rach
but
07:21.62
Bec
And yeah, I got like so many, so a bizarre amount of like texts and DMs and like emails from people being like, this sucks.
07:30.26
Rach
Oh, actually a friend of mine goes to the gym and she said you can literally like, you could put people in like a line of how old they are based on the height of their socks.
07:31.98
Bec
don't know.
07:40.21
Rach
Apparently, like, socks is a thing for the young people.
07:41.47
Britt
Oh, no, it is. Yeah. I see kids do it.
07:46.02
Britt
Like they pull them up.
07:47.64
Rach
And wear Birkenstocks and Crocs for some reason?
07:48.03
Britt
I’ll
07:51.03
Britt
Yeah.
07:51.09
Bec
Oh yeah.
07:51.80
Rach
Why?
07:51.86
Britt
Guys, I'm in.
07:52.32
Bec
The whole thing.
07:52.86
Britt
I'm for it because it's so comfortable.
07:54.38
Rach
Are you? No way
07:58.10
Britt
High socks.
07:59.09
Rach
should not be there.
07:59.08
Britt
I remember like folding my socks over.
08:00.02
Bec
I am so excited now. And Bostons.
08:03.25
Rach
yeah, I do remember folding my socks over too when I wanted ankle socks.
08:04.63
Bec
Like a hospital worker.
08:06.41
Rach
That's true.
08:07.45
Britt
And how uncomfortable was it to have that feeling in your shoe of a folded over sock?
08:07.54
Bec
Yeah. man
08:11.72
Britt
And when this sock fell all the way down and then you had to pull it up, the high sock prevents this.
08:11.81
Rach
That's true.
08:17.43
Britt
Just get on board.
08:19.33
Rach
Okay.
08:19.91
Bec
I just sometimes I wear them and I'm like I technically understand that this is cool but I'm old enough to remember like my dad wearing socks like this and just it's a whole thing so anyway that is just one of a small range of things that is like the frustration but I think it's like what am I actually supposed to be wearing and when I wear them, I look like the old person that the young people are knocking off
08:32.53
Rach
I think they also, yes. Yes.
08:43.51
Bec
You know I mean?
08:43.64
Rach
Yes.
08:44.11
Bec
They're like wearing it ironically, but I'm wearing it to look like them, but then I look like the people that they're kind of ironically imitating.
08:44.53
Britt
Hmm.
08:50.16
Rach
I see.
08:53.08
Bec
This is where I'm at, the spiral.
08:54.55
Rach
oh
08:57.47
Bec
Yeah. And then, you know, you're like what actually suits me? And can't wear whatever.
09:05.76
Bec
Makeup. So, you know, contacts, all of that.
09:07.72
Rach
Oh, that's a sign thing.
09:09.35
Bec
My skin's angry.
09:09.81
Rach
oh
09:10.11
Bec
But yeah, tell us, Rach. Tell us about your current frustrations.
09:14.26
Rach
think I, as a like, you know, I’m not I'm not old, but I'm not ah young person anymore. I feel in the last few years I feel very much like an adult. It's like how do adults dress?
09:30.39
Rach
Like in in a bad way, I just feel I’ve become a grown-up and I'm sort of teetering the line between wearing
09:30.97
Bec
Yeah.
09:42.84
Rach
I see a lot of content online about people who have done away with the concept of flattering because they say, well, I just want to wear what I want to wear and it makes me feel good, so I'm going to wear it. And I think, well, you do you. That's fine.
09:58.45
Rach
But I also am like, yes, that, but I also would like to look nice.
10:04.77
Bec
Hmm.
10:05.27
Rach
How do I find the middle ground of wearing what I want and feeling good in it, but also an outfit where people go, oh, that look like that looks nice. Not you look insane or that's incredibly unflattering.
10:17.17
Britt
yeah
10:17.63
Bec
Hmm.
10:17.78
Rach
And I know flattering is not the ultimate goal when I get dressed and I'm not getting dressed for people to go, oh, you know, but there is a certain amount of I would like to look nice.
10:18.55
Bec
Yeah.
10:28.92
Britt
Yeah.
10:29.41
Bec
Yeah. Yeah.
10:30.58
Rach
Yeah, and I mean, yeah, as ah as a person who grew up in sort of 90s weird Christian purity culture, I do have a lot of, like, modesty hang-ups, a lot of, yeah, sort of cover covering up.
10:44.08
Rach
But, you know, I was in ah in the, like, the T-shirt at the pool generation, you know.
10:49.11
Britt
Oh yeah, same.
10:50.32
Rach
Yes, yeah. Which is weird because it's actually quite seductive to have a white T-shirt and then get in the pool and get out with your bathers underneath.
10:51.89
Britt
No bikini.
10:58.04
Rach
But, yeah. It was a thing at the time. Yeah. And I think very much the, yeah, the Regina George's m of, because my Mum, I remember so vividly saying all the time, I don't, she would ask us how, like, are her clothes okay?
11:05.19
Bec
didn't have that not all
11:14.48
Rach
Because she didn't want to look like mutton dressed as lamb. I don't want to look like I'm trying to look young, but I want to be trendy, but still be a mum and not.
11:16.82
Britt
Yes.
11:19.23
Bec
Oh,
11:22.20
Rach
but My mum's very trendy. I don't know if you've seen my mum, but she's very trendy.
11:26.07
Britt
My mum said the same thing to us growing up.
11:26.20
Rach
I
11:26.45
Bec
yeah, Carol.
11:27.68
Rach
Yes. Hmm.
11:29.16
Britt
I thought, like, I remember very vividly that mutton dressed lamb phrase. It must have been a thing.
11:34.16
Rach
must have been… It must have been in a movie or something. I don't know. But, yeah, I still I do kind of feel that now. ah One thing I refuse to do is have a middle part, though. I don't care what the what the Gen Z say. Absolutely not. Side parts look better.
11:48.93
Bec
I had a middle part.
11:49.17
Rach
And I that's where that's where that's the hill that I will die on.
11:52.72
Bec
ah
11:52.88
Britt
I have a middle part because it is my part.
11:53.30
Bec
It was great.
11:56.18
Rach
Yeah, but that's fine.
11:56.50
Britt
Like it's where my hair falls.
11:57.09
Rach
Okay.
11:58.22
Britt
No, I went side and then I went back to middle and I'm like, it's easier. It sits.
12:02.16
Rach
Natural. I think that's also probably me is that my hair naturally parts on the side.
12:03.67
Bec
Yeah.
12:05.56
Rach
So, I just don't want to go against nature. I'm not, it's not going work.
12:07.81
Britt
Fair.
12:08.04
Rach
So, it's fine.
12:08.64
Britt
It's a lot of work.
12:10.40
Rach
Yeah.
12:10.36
Bec
Look, they cut when they cut my fringe that I have now and I'm like kind of partially growing out in regret and they blow dried it like this, she was like, you need to part your hair on the side.
12:10.97
Rach
I'll bet.
12:19.16
Bec
And I was like, but I've just gone back to the centre part. Like, why would you? And I was like, no, I'm okay.
12:27.11
Rach
I want to be cool. All right.
12:28.98
Bec
What cool mom. I'm a real wife.
12:32.18
Rach
Okay, is your difficult so is your difficulty with getting dressed influenced by church culture? If so, how and what lies have you believed? I'll just hand it over to Bec first because we're taking turns.
12:48.56
Bec
ah to be honest, like, not particularly. ah can't. But I think because didn't grow up going to church. Like, I think I went to church at, like, I was going in at 18. So, I think with, like, the mass exodus of people who were leaving, I missed all of that, like, youth group, this should be wearing, modesty, whatever. Like, I just don't.
13:09.56
Bec
13:11.49
Bec
For me, that wasn't a strong one.
13:14.13
Rach
that's good it's a bummer.
13:18.46
Bec
ah But I'm open to discussion.
13:19.52
Britt
I think...
13:19.94
Bec
I mean, it could be there and I don't know about it.
13:22.68
Rach
hmm
13:23.90
Britt
I definitely, yeah, I remember that influence. Even though I went into church later, the church that I went into had a big emphasis on modesty for women.
13:36.43
Rach
Mm. Mm.
13:36.67
Britt
like no bathing suits, you always wore shorts and a t-shirt. I wore a lot of layers, like jeans under dresses. Like ah that's why I actually cannot remember now if that was what was in style at the time, the trend, or that was a church influence subculture that I was part of.
14:00.16
Britt
But definitely like I would wear, I would never wear something say with like a V without like a singlet under. to cover up modesty, even though like I don't need to do that.
14:11.100
Britt
There's nothing there to cover up particularly.
14:15.36
Rach
Hmm.
14:15.44
Britt
It's like my skin. Yeah, so I think probably in my 20s until I went to a different – church where interestingly people were probably more conservative in a lot of ways and less trend orientated, like less kind of trendy looking people, but maybe a bit less stuck in that like more evangelical trend of or charismatic trend, whatever it was around like covering up everything.
14:49.24
Britt
I don't find it so much influences me now
14:49.55
Bec
Hmm.
14:53.72
Britt
Though like there wasn't, maybe a couple of years ago, I remember I put on this dress to go to church and my husband was like, you can't wear that. Like you can't bend over because you're going to show your undies.
15:02.22
Bec
Oh.
15:05.80
Britt
And I was like, oh, really? Like I had always just gotten like really mindless about what I did and didn't wear.
15:14.56
Britt
But like I feel like in my early 20s I wouldn't have worn leggings because they were form-fitting, whereas now I don't even think twice about it
15:19.94
Bec
Oh, wow.
15:24.06
Britt
What were you to say, Bec?
15:25.73
Bec
I was going to say the only thing that my husband has ever vetoed that I have worn was a pair of clear plastic Doc Martens with like, but then they had an electric pink bottom and laces.
15:36.58
Bec
And he was like, why?
15:36.83
Rach
Well, that is the wrong choice. That's wrong.
15:38.85
Britt
What a shame.
15:40.16
Rach
They sound awesome.
15:41.86
Britt
Yeah, his loss.
15:43.68
Rach
Yeah, exactly.
15:43.97
Bec
he was like, please no.
15:47.39
Rach
This is not me being influenced, but I have a somewhat positive story in in light of this, that I have some friends that were always taught to, I mean, it's not a unique concept, but they always wore their best on a Sunday.
16:03.61
Rach
And I can't, it was, I think that could probably be taken and be quite legalistic, but I kind of like that. And I definitely wear, ah use Sunday to wear my nice clothes because my on church, let's wear nice clothes.
16:15.23
Bec
I do this now.
16:16.37
Rach
kind of like that. Yeah.
16:17.95
Bec
But I did notice actually when we've got to the church that we're at now, like everyone was wearing dresses and sometimes like heels and I was like, oh, like, you know, here I am with my pixie-cut and jeans.
16:28.85
Britt
Mm. Mm.
16:29.72
Bec
But actually, people are really dressing up for this in a way that I wasn't used to.
16:36.45
Rach
But I also had a friend who did the opposite in that she grew up in a church where it was very much Sunday best, dresses, heels. And then she went to another church and found that people found her intimidating and a bit unapproachable like that. And so, she actually...
16:54.72
Rach
toned down what she wore to church to be more accessible to people because she didn't want to will alienate herself but also make, because it was in a reasonably low socioeconomic area, she didn't want to make people feel bad by wearing her finery to church.
16:59.89
Bec
Hmm.
17:06.02
Britt
Yeah.
17:08.83
Rach
And so, she, which, yeah, I think is pretty cool.
17:09.51
Bec
Hmm. Hmm.
17:13.12
Rach
and it worked. She now is, you know, she still looks nice but she wears more casual clothes because that's the culture she's in and she wanted to make others comfortable. And I think that's what Jesus would do.
17:25.76
Rach
ah I'm just trying to think my answer to this question. If you're difficult to get influenced by church culture. I think probably, yes.
17:37.89
Rach
I think there’s probably things that I would wear to church that I, oh, sorry, the other way around, that I would wear out that I wouldn't wear to church.
17:47.52
Britt
Yeah.
17:47.56
Rach
I don't know if that's a good or bad thing.
17:54.69
Britt
No, I would do that.
17:56.13
Rach
yeah, And I suppose there's lots of stuff that I would wear to the shops that I wouldn't wear to the beach. I think it's just, it's appropriate for what I'm doing.
18:01.99
Britt
Yeah.
18:09.60
Rach
And I I think most as a 30 something mum, most of my clothes are pretty modest anyway. I think this was probably that sort of thoughts as I'm getting dressed for church. It does come up, but most of the stuff I have is not particularly saucy. So, it's not making much difference.
18:29.86
Bec
Do you feel like that's something you've processed through like with age? Like if you've come from a fairly strict upbringing in that way?
18:38.33
Britt
Thank you.
18:42.82
Rach
I think it's more that, this is very personal, but I think as I've gotten older and I've put on quite a lot of weight as an adult, and so I've been more concerned with stuff that flatters my body than being modest.
18:56.13
Rach
And I think stuff when you're when you're not particularly comfortable in your skin, you'd want to cover it more. So, I think it's more that. Hmm.
19:05.13
Bec
No.
19:08.50
Britt
I also think fashion has changed. Like the current kind of a lot of the trends at the moment aren't particularly immodest.
19:17.73
Rach
No, that's true. Yeah.
19:18.90
Bec
Yeah.
19:19.01
Britt
Like you could, you cannot, you know, like I feel like when we were kind of in our 20s, like things like the bondage dresses, the bodycon style, like that, I mean, that was like, don't think that was,
19:28.41
Rach
Bodycon, yeah, I remember those.
19:29.54
Bec
yeah
19:34.12
Bec
I remember my dad being like, you can't leave the house with that skirt. Like, which and it was, it was a belt.
19:37.73
Rach
Yeah.
19:38.63
Britt
Yeah, and, like, that was, I don't I don't actually think, yeah, but I don't think they were necessarily, like, immoral or immodest to wear. I'm sure I would have owned one, but just, like, that fashion is gone at the moment at least.
19:54.40
Bec
Hmm.
19:54.83
Britt
Yeah.
19:55.94
Bec
Hmm.
19:56.81
Britt
And it's more, I do think when you, as you age, you just have less occasions to wear stuff too. But I'm sure there would be dresses I would wear maybe like to a wedding where it's more like dressy that somebody else would not wear. Maybe wouldn't feel comfortable in or wouldn't want to or maybe, I don't know.
20:18.70
Bec
It's almost like this fashion, I do you remember you saying, Britt, that like, I don't know, the fashion at the moment, it's almost like its people don't get dressed up in the same way.
20:18.95
Rach
And I would hope
20:26.58
Bec
Like even if they are going out clubbing, they don't dress in the same, you know, but there's not that like culture to dress up as much.
20:27.86
Britt
No.
20:33.89
Bec
And like my mum is European or like, you know, she came, her family is Spanish and they would dress up for, you know, for lots of things.
20:33.96
Britt
Yeah.
20:40.06
Bec
And a lot of our friends were Italian and they really dress up for stuff. But this fashion at the moment is really not.
20:43.65
Britt
Yeah. It's much more casual. No, there's no day to night. It's just day to day.
20:53.41
Bec
the everlasting day.
20:56.10
Rach
And I think there is definitely, a where actually, this probably is going to the next question. So, on the other side of the coin, do you think that your hangups and stuff with getting dressed are am more influenced by the secular culture?
21:01.49
Britt
Thank you.
21:21.16
Rach
On the other side of the coin, how is your difficulty with getting dressed influenced by secular culture and what lies have you believed? I was just thinking as we were talking about the current culture and it's getting more and more prevalent of live your truth, you know, be who you are. And I feel like there is a lot more acceptance of people wearing whatever they want and doing things however they want and it's encouraged.
22:00.32
Rach
And so, I think there's less of an it's not a cool thing to do culturally to tell someone, oh, what you're wearing is not a you know, in a church setting, I have, my parents have told me stories about when they had someone come in off the street and she became a Christian and she didn't dress very modestly and ah an older woman took her under her wing and like showed her how to dress modestly. And that was always told to me as a story of like, you know, it was a wonderful story because she was this woman off the street and she dressed inappropriately and now, she dresses very modestly.
22:38.34
Rach
and whereas as I think now that story would not be seen in that light. That would say, well, you squashed who she was and she is, you know, living her truth.
22:53.48
Rach
Discuss.
22:53.48
Bec
Yeah, just as you were talking, I was like, it is that, isn't it? You're like, if my identity is self-constructed out of like how I internally feel and I'm representing that, then it's really important how I dress.
23:04.14
Rach
Hmm.
23:07.88
Bec
Like, because that's communicating like ultimately like my deeper truth of who I am.
23:13.76
Rach
Mm-hmm.
23:13.80
Bec
and I actually think that is, I think, probably looking back at like,
23:14.13
Britt
Mm.
23:22.32
Bec
My difficulties with getting dressed has been around like, what if I get it wrong? And then, you know, like what I wear or how I come across really, really matters and communicate something about me.
23:35.82
Bec
And, you know, like I remember, and it's such a small thing, but like, oh, I got a really bad dermatitis. So, I was like, ah can't wear makeup. All of a sudden, like me couldn't wear contact lenses. So, I have to wear glasses all day, every day.
23:48.90
Bec
I couldn't wear contact lenses because my eyes wouldn't produce enough fluid. And all of a sudden, I was like, I can't do these things that, you know, make me feel okay about how I go out into the world and how I present.
23:56.12
Rach
Mm. Mm.
24:02.69
Bec
And,
24:06.21
Bec
But actually, you know, like how much do those things really matter? Like, are they ultimately like who I am? Like, does it, you know, am I ultimately just like how I look? Whereas I think the shift has been which I suppose probably leads into lot of questions, but more like, can I just enjoy what I'm wearing because it looks good or it's pretty or it's fun? Yeah.
24:30.34
Rach
Mm.
24:32.76
Britt
Yeah, I mean, I did have... a workplace once where there was a staff member that people thought dressed inappropriately, so like a secular workplace, and it was quite an awkward thing.
24:51.13
Rach
Mm.
24:53.33
Britt
And they were like at the time they were quite young and I think they just didn't know what to wear that was appropriate for work. But I can't think of an instance where
25:08.53
Britt
Yeah, like in a church setting that's been kind of obvious or pointed out. What was the flip side bit again?
25:18.55
Rach
ah How is, I sorry, your difficulty in getting dressed, how is it influenced by secular culture rather than church culture?
25:18.74
Bec
the secular.
25:27.38
Britt
ah Then, yeah, in terms of secular culture, I would say to be I feel pressure to be more consumeristic, and to buy more and to buy into this current kind of fast fashion, micro trends.
25:38.64
Bec
Hmm.
25:45.61
Bec
Hmm.
25:47.06
Britt
Like instead of there being like each season a couple of things, it's like there is just an ever-evolving consumer cycle and
25:57.43
Bec
Yeah.
25:57.49
Britt
that we do get bombarded with. And I think the more you see certain things, the more you want them. Like initially you might be like, that's a bit weird. And then a few months later, you're like, maybe I do like that shape. Maybe I would like to wear that.
26:08.66
Rach
Mmmm
26:08.88
Britt
And you start seeing it around you more and then you try it and maybe you wouldn't have liked it, but you do start liking it. Yeah, I think I feel pressure on that. And I guess I've probably, like I am interested in fashion and clothing and colour and I find it fun.
26:26.61
Rach
Yeah, same.
26:27.28
Britt
And I love like textures. So personally, loving this new trend around lots of different textures, cause I'm like so many fun things for me to touch. But it's easy for me to just get drawn into like,
26:42.39
Britt
ah even though I will sell stuff and then buy new stuff or whatever, but it's like that constant cycle of like something that's still actually functional and you could wear and provides what you need it for, but just like, oh, let's get rid of that.
26:57.36
Britt
Let's get the new thing in because this is the new kind of trend or whatever.
26:58.45
Bec
hmm
27:02.48
Britt
Or like I guess the people that I follow where I like what they wear, often it's quite like maybe a bit eccentric, a bit colourful. I might not wear everything they're going to wear but it's easy to get drawn into light like, oh, I've got to be really cool and I've got to be like on the edge of this or I've got to, I don't know, like keep up with all this stuff when actually like at the ah bottom of it it's just capitalism.
27:27.74
Rach
Yes.
27:27.92
Bec
ah
27:28.46
Rach
And a lot of it is being made by people that are not getting paid enough.
27:31.99
Britt
Yeah.
27:32.23
Bec
Yeah.
27:32.45
Britt
Yeah.
27:33.04
Bec
Yeah.
27:33.52
Rach
Yeah. Yes. I think I had a weird thought recently. I love music and a lot like we've talked about it before, but I'm not a massive fan of Christian music, but I do like secular music.
27:48.05
Rach
And I do have a lot of band T-shirts, as in not T-shirts that have been banned, but, you know, band.
27:48.06
Britt
Mm.
27:54.82
Rach
And I did have a thought the other day, I was going to wear one to church.
27:56.62
Britt
Mm.
27:57.83
Rach
And I thought, is this, like, is it a graven image? Is this something I can wear to church? Which I think it's fine. I actually didn't wear it because I thought, oh is this going to make people uncomfortable?
28:10.84
Rach
It wasn't uncomfortable. I don't know. It was fine. I think it was Pink Floyd, the Dark Side of the Moon, like the album cover. Yeah, and I don't know, but it definitely was a thought that occurred to me. I don't know if it actually has any weight to anything, but I ended up not wearing it because I thought, and I think also – my bent is to… I really like making conservative Christians uncomfortable and so I tend to want to do things that's going to annoy them and so that's another reason can wear it because ah people that are just like oh you know the people I grew up with that wouldn't let me watch Harry Potter and Pokémon and anything that is anything to do with anything
28:55.01
Bec
Hmm.
28:55.60
Rach
Yeah, I don't that's just an open-ended thought that has no ending. But I did think about that. And then you think, well, if I own this thing and I can't wear it to church, should I have should I own it?
29:06.44
Rach
I don't know.
29:07.11
Bec
Hmm.
29:07.67
Rach
I think it's fine. I like the band. I don't know. Bec?
29:12.44
Britt
But I own like dresses that I would wear to an event that I'm never going to wear to church because it's not really the right event for it.
29:12.47
Bec
Hmm.
29:20.40
Britt
So, I think there's, yeah, there's like things that you just wouldn't wear.
29:20.44
Rach
Yeah, I think it's just remnants. It's just.
29:24.32
Britt
I'm not wearing a bikini to church.
29:26.68
Rach
Oh, okay. What church do you go to?
29:29.40
Britt
The church at the beach.
29:29.75
Bec
How inauthentic of you.
29:30.23
Rach
I think it's probably just remnants from having a very yeah conservative approach to clothing that I'm scared of what people will think.
29:34.26
Bec
29:42.76
Rach
Yeah. Bec?
29:44.90
Bec
I was going to say just on what you were saying, Brit, about like that constant changing over. Like I think that's something I've been grappling with because whenever I feel like, oh, what I'm wearing, you know, all my clothes are lame or my wardrobe is lame.
29:58.40
Bec
And you're like, I have clothes.
29:58.66
Britt
hmm
29:59.56
Bec
I have plenty of clothes. And, but it makes it really easy for me to impulse purchase because I think if I buy these shoes, and I have a lot shoes, if I buy these shoes, if I buy this shirt, then this will solve all of my wardrobe problems and it will bring my whole wardrobe together.
30:01.29
Rach
Mm. Yes.
30:12.47
Britt
Yes.
30:12.89
Bec
And then I will, you know what I mean? This will fix everything. And it never does. Like I’m always like, oh no.
30:18.10
Britt
No.
30:19.09
Bec
And I have been reading about like just the idea of weirdly enough, like part of the Instagram algorithm, but then also like this John Stott book about simplicity and you're like, oh.
30:32.50
Bec
I mean, like, they talked about Jesus, and you're like, okay, so Jesus' clothes, when he was on the cross, he was wearing, he had a tunic, right, and the Roman soldiers, like, gambled for it. Like, they cast lots, because it was worth something, right?
30:41.99
Rach
Mm. Mm.
30:44.48
Bec
He had one, like, tunic, but it was, like, a really good one. And so, I think
30:53.20
Bec
it's, I had been wondering about, like, is it better to own like a few things that are good quality and be like, these are beautiful. They are flattering on me.
31:06.58
Bec
can pair them with a lot of things. But to have a wardrobe like that, you know, even if you're up shopping, it actually does take some like thought and intentionality.
31:16.96
Bec
Like you're making decisions where you're like, well, you know, I don't suit like grey or pastels.
31:18.42
Britt
Mm-hmm.
31:23.44
Bec
I'm like, I have a long running list of like, never buy this again because I'm like, I don't wear these things. Like I'm never going to wear something with like spaghetti straps or a split that's in the front of the skirt.
31:32.08
Rach
Hmm. Hmm.
31:35.16
Bec
Or like, there's a whole array of things. I'm like, I'm just, I'm short. Like, I'm little. But I have like, you know, my hips, I think like a pear or something. I'm like, there is a whole array of things that I should just never wear.
31:49.81
Britt
yeah
31:49.81
Bec
So, yeah. like Actually, what's the purpose of buying these things? That they're not flattering and they just sit in my wardrobe anyway. so yeah.
31:59.55
Rach
I am fascinated by, have you heard of the term a capsule wardrobe?
32:03.67
Bec
Yes.
32:03.83
Britt
yes
32:04.66
Rach
Exactly that of like, I have these sets of pieces that I can mix and match, but they're all good quality and they are a part of a cohesive,
32:16.76
Rach
like collection that I can take from and make multiple, multiple outfits from. I'm very fascinated by that as a concept and I do like it because it is, it would take an awful lot of self-control for me to do that.
32:24.31
Bec
Hmm.
32:32.43
Rach
And then I feel like it would, it sounds like a very biblical thing to do actually because I think it would, one, be an exercise in self-control, but I you would also – have opportunity to have to be creative with it as well.
32:49.49
Rach
It's just a very interesting concept to me that I like the intentionality of it. And I agree with you, Bec, that, you know, it's like I have, I know what suits me. I know what I like and I know what I want it to be. And I can curate this thing and then just sit back and relax because it's all done.
33:08.85
Rach
And I just make stuff what I got.
33:09.30
Bec
Yeah.
33:11.96
Britt
Yeah, I feel like the capsule wardrobe idea is essentially a secular answer to consumerism.
33:19.06
Rach
m Yeah. Mm. Mm.
33:19.92
Britt
Like you have to be super intentional because it does if it doesn't fit within the parameters of what you've set out for yourself, it stops you falling into trends because capsule wardrobe doesn't really do that.
33:34.93
Britt
Yeah, I think it's a really good idea.
33:36.24
Bec
yeah
33:37.57
Britt
I did notice I recently did a big like chuck out things in my wardrobe and the biggest thing that I took from it was to stop buying things on sale.
33:49.05
Bec
Hmm. Hmm.
33:49.24
Britt
Because the things I bought, because I thought they were a really cheap deal, either, thought yeah, the colour like wasn't, I could only get it in a certain colour, so I bought it, but then like the colour didn't suit me, so therefore I never wore it or it didn't actually suit me or work for me, but I kept it because I'd got it on such a good sale.
34:02.02
Rach
I
34:07.96
Britt
And then you keep it for like ages, sitting there doing nothing, and it is just wasteful.
34:14.02
Rach
remember my friend's mum, she said this and I never forgot it because it's annoying but really good advice. And she said, it's only a bargain if you need it.
34:22.61
Britt
yeah
34:23.38
Bec
Hmm.
34:23.53
Rach
If you don't need it, it's not it's not a bargain. it's not as cheap as not spending any money. like oh damn it.
34:29.65
Britt
yeah
34:31.12
Bec
Yeah.
34:31.21
Rach
It's really, really good advice. Yeah, I think there is that there is a danger in that sort of stuff that like, yeah, it's a great it is a great idea. But I think also, as you say, it's a secular answer to consumerism. I think you can also get bogged down in that. And then I think you can be a Christian and not do that. I think it's fine. Yeah.
34:52.05
Rach
yeah
34:52.05
Britt
o
34:53.50
Bec
They were saved by that capsule wardrobe.
34:56.12
Rach
Mm.
34:56.98
Bec
Yeah. Like I think I have found it interesting for probably like the last six months I have just been like, okay, like one job a week, like really small going through and like decluttering my house.
35:07.48
Bec
But then like, you know, just a drawer at a time or whatever it is.
35:08.31
Rach
a
35:11.04
Bec
But then I have thought like how, like I feel more peaceful in my house. I enjoy being in my house more. It's easy to clean. However, I'm like, how can I maintain this?
35:21.21
Bec
And then I actually have really had to think it's actually dependent on me growing in self-control to not just buy stuff like just in the moment or impulse buy it.
35:30.24
Rach
Mm-hmm.
35:30.36
Britt
Yeah.
35:34.91
Bec
And I'm like, I'm mainly the one who's bringing into the house, like stuff into the house or into my wardrobe. And like even the smallest, like I'm not there yet, but really looking at like what colours,
35:46.96
Bec
actually, suit me what shapes actually suit me like what do I wear and it makes me really happy
35:50.20
Britt
yeah
35:56.63
Bec
Even that has just forced me, like if I'm like even in the op shop, like I love to up shop, but I will look at something and be like, I like this, but it's not a colour that suits me. And it's not going to; you know what I mean? It's not one of my neutrals and it's not one of these other colours and I'm not going to wear it.
36:15.44
Bec
Or is this a thing that like I like, but I'm not actually like, you know I went to like this disco cowboy party recently and I have these ridiculous silver cowboy boots, but then I have also been like,
36:28.78
Bec
I keep going to wear them, but I'm not actually going to wear them anywhere because they're so – really torn.
36:32.89
Rach
and
36:35.60
Bec
But mostly I'm like, it's that. I think it's like its stewardship. It's like I'm stewarding resources and growing in self-control, but the things that I do have, I'm like, are these – are they beautiful? And often I would pay more for just – Like one really good, but it's better to have like one really nice jacket or one really good pair of jeans that you feel great in rather than like three average ones or 27 cardigans.
37:05.20
Bec
Just saying.
37:06.10
Britt
Yeah.
37:06.37
Bec
As someone who had 27 cardigans.
37:08.92
Rach
This is just a support group
37:09.78
Bec
I don't know why. it is. It is.
37:12.93
Britt
Yes.
37:14.64
Bec
Discuss.
37:15.10
Rach
now. I think we've talked about some of this, but we'll lead into it more. What gospel truths encourage you in this area of what to wear and what not to wear, like Trini and Susanna?
37:26.10
Rach
you remember that show? what a weird show.
37:27.35
Britt
yes
37:27.92
Bec
Yes.
37:30.81
Rach
I think we've talked about a few already. think I think identity is always a big one. and I like what you said, Bec, was really good about, you know, am I depending on what I'm wearing on the outside to show who I am on the inside and communicate that to other people rather than were my identity is in Christ? So
37:53.30
Rach
what I'm wearing on the outside is not my, so you know, it's, it's, it doesn't, it's not clinging to who I am and my identity as a person, as a whatever I may be.
38:04.05
Rach
and I need my clothes to communicate that.
38:09.100
Rach
Yeah.
38:11.32
Britt
I mean, I just think of that verse in Matthew 6, look at the birds of the air. They neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.
38:16.11
Rach
Hmm.
38:20.75
Britt
Are they not of more value than that?
38:20.90
Bec
Hmm.
38:24.25
Britt
And then a bit above, is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?
38:29.36
Rach
Mm. Mm. Mm.
38:30.07
Britt
Why are you anxious about clothing?
38:30.87
Bec
Hmm.
38:31.87
Britt
Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow. They neither toil nor spin. Yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. If God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, or you of little faith?
38:53.59
Britt
I mean... Yeah, and even the bit about like the Gentiles seek after all these things, what shall we wear? It's just easy to get stuck in. I mean, I'm paraphrasing all over the place for that verse, but it's easy to get stuck into tunnel vision, but ultimately doesn't really matter.
39:19.07
Britt
Like we're going to be clothed. Our issue is not whether or not we're going to be clothed. It's whether or not we're like, Am I wearing what you're meant to be wearing these days? And am I, you know, am I cool still because I'm aging? We're essentially grappling with that issue of like we aren't young anymore.
39:32.99
Bec
Hmm. Hmm.
39:39.19
Rach
Yeah, no, it's sad.
39:40.92
Britt
Yeah, and we're like ah we don't want to and it is like I think it's a real concern like that whole like I don't want look like I'm trying to be too young and I don't want to look frumpy and old.
39:53.56
Britt
But ultimately what I wear is not of a particular concern.
39:58.83
Rach
Hmm.
39:59.92
Britt
It's more about my heart coming before God.
40:04.62
Bec
That's exactly it and I think it's, it's that C.S. Lewis quote where he's like, humility is not thinking less of yourself. It's just thinking of yourself less.
40:15.77
Britt
Yeah.
40:15.74
Bec
And like the people that I like the most, you know, like the women that I love to be around or that I think are really joyful, you know, like I noticed that cause I'm like, they you know what mean? They get around like they're fine.
40:27.10
Bec
But it's not the main thing that I notice about them.
40:27.47
Britt
Yeah.
40:29.30
Bec
I'm like, wow, they're really warm and they're funny and they're hospitable. And like there's something, I think there's something like if I spend all my time, like I notice if I go out and I'm really like stuck on what am I wearing and what does everybody think about what I'm wearing, I'm not going to have a good time.
40:34.01
Britt
yeah
40:58.01
41:13.96
Bec
yeah, I think if I, I think I have noticed, when I get really fixated on what I'm wearing and what does this communicate about me, I'm just generally going to have a miserable time.
41:28.90
Bec
But if I'm out and I take the focus off myself, I'm just like, who's this person?
41:30.39
Britt
Mm.
41:36.07
Bec
And you're like, let's chat to them and like, or having a laugh or something like that. I actually have a better time and it doesn't really matter what I'm wearing. And those are the women that I like to be around the best are the ones who aren't constantly like turning inwards.
41:52.90
Rach
Yeah, it's true. Mm.
41:56.20
Britt
Yeah, I do find people that, the people that I often feel kind of most at ease with, I actually am not in any way thinking about what they're wearing.
42:10.34
Bec
Mm-hmm.
42:10.56
Rach
Mm.
42:11.21
Britt
And definitely some people I'm good friends with, like they're into it and like I admire what they're wearing and think they look great, but it's not really about that. That's not why I'm friends with them.
42:21.67
Rach
Mm-hmm.
42:22.83
Britt
It's because they, yeah, they're caring or they're like their faith really shines through or like there's so many other elements to who they are that are more important than what they're actually wearing.
42:37.61
Bec
And sometimes you can be wrong. Like I have a really beautiful friend now who when I first met her, I saw her at a distance and she was wearing a hat with a cool dress and like the whatever, like ankle bits. And I was like, she's too cool. She's wearing a like she's wearing a hat.
42:50.64
Bec
Like we can't be friends because she's wearing a hat. like you
42:55.64
Rach
Yeah, that's true. Hats a cool people.
42:56.97
Bec
I know. I know.
42:58.27
Britt
It's true.
42:58.51
Bec
And she is a cool person and she dresses cool.
42:58.72
Britt
It takes a lot of confidence.
42:58.97
Rach
Women in hats.
43:00.51
Bec
It does. It does. And I admire her.
43:01.72
Rach
It's a power move.
43:02.31
Bec
But she, that's not, that's not her whole self personality is wearing hats. Like.
43:08.78
Britt
No.
43:08.96
Bec
It's not a good barometer.
43:11.59
Britt
I will say, Bec, regarding your silver girl boots, ah my four-year-old just got a pair and she's killing it. If you want some advice on what to pair it with, because she's just wearing it with everything and they go.
43:26.57
Britt
They work.
43:26.64
Rach
Yeah, bet they do.
43:29.48
Bec
I tried wearing them with this black dress the other day and like it's whatever, had like poofy sleeves and it's like lace over like a black like underneath thing and I was like and I don't know.
43:40.30
Bec
It's just a bit much. It's a bit like I'm a little house on the prairie, but also like it's a little bit disco-pointed.
43:45.80
Rach
Little House on the Disco Prairie.
43:46.48
Bec
I
43:47.79
Britt
Yeah.
43:50.30
Bec
don't know.
43:51.88
Rach
They're holding a disco while also having cholera.
43:57.03
Britt
Yeah.
43:59.96
Rach
That's a bad combo. You don't want that.
44:02.64
Bec
You don't. ah Yeah, so what do I?
44:03.43
Britt
I mean, my child wore like leopard flares with them today.
44:08.68
Rach
That actually sounds magical.
44:09.07
Bec
Oh, what I want is leopard print.
44:10.92
Britt
Just get on board.
44:12.36
Bec
I just love leopard print.
44:13.32
Rach
Yeah.
44:14.92
Bec
love it it's a
44:15.38
Britt
Same.
44:16.59
Rach
Oh, guys, no. We're 30-somethings. We cannot be wearing leopard yet. Yeah.
44:20.72
Bec
I love it. I have a leopard print dress.
44:21.24
Britt
No, you just got to think.
44:22.51
Bec
I have a leopard print skirt.
44:23.64
Rach
I bet you
44:23.72
Bec
I just, what I really want is pair of leopard print pointy shoes. That's what I really, really want. Flat ones.
44:29.02
Rach
Okay.
44:30.46
Britt
I'm on board with you. Also, every time I wear leopard, I just think the nanny named Fran. Because she rocked some leopard print.
44:36.07
Rach
As in the Nanny named Fran?
44:36.14
Bec
Yes. Yes.
44:40.52
Bec
who
44:40.97
Rach
Yeah.
44:44.78
Rach
Sure. If that's your role model, you go with it. That's fine. Okay.
44:48.93
Bec
Mr. Sheffield!
44:49.42
Rach
All right. Last one. All right. We're getting practical. Last one. All right. What is helping you get dressed right now? The nitty gritty on the nitty gritty practical level.
45:02.60
Rach
What are you actually doing to help you make decisions about what to wear and whether or not you just forget about worrying what to wear? I have one. So, I actually, similar to what you were saying, Bec, is that I literally just Googled
45:13.14
Bec
Hmm.
45:17.26
Rach
styles that suit my body shape which is like an apple or I think an apple yeah and so I literally just google all up interested styles that suit an apple shape and then I just tried on stuff that went with that with within reason I'm not like a disciple of you know wrap dresses which is what everybody says to wear but it did kind of help it helped me pick stuff better I guess
45:42.89
Bec
Mmm.
45:43.43
Rach
I think also something that really helps is just being married because I've got a contract. This is how I look. He's stuck with me. like I just know I'm not dressing to attract anyone. I'm not doing the bird feather dance to try and get a mate. It's fine. So, my sympathy is to those who still have to dress to do the feather dance to get a mate. But alas, it does help me.
46:08.44
Rach
Britt?
46:09.80
Britt
I think I just started noticing what I actually, well, don't know if started noticing it, but I just wear what I like and what I'm comfortable in.
46:24.74
Britt
And I did I did do a bit of an AI colour analysis on myself where you like take a photo and get it to show you colours.
46:24.91
Bec
Hmm.
46:32.47
Rach
What did the robot say?
46:32.74
Britt
But I also... I can't, I think I was like, maybe I was a winter or something or an autumn. But regardless, I just also noticed like certain clothes I put on in my wardrobe and I'm like, this does not suit me. And then I put on something else and I'm like; this colour is more my colour. And so slowly over time, I have started swapping out the things that actually, the colours that I've bought because I like the colour, but don't like it on me for things that actually do kind of suit me more.
47:03.11
Britt
And I guess like accepting that there's certain things that I'm not going to wear, that I might like it, but sometimes I put it on and I don't like it has helped me to get dressed more.
47:07.86
Rach
Mm.
47:08.61
Bec
E.
47:13.07
Rach
Mm.
47:15.51
Britt
I still have a bit of dilemma with what to wear to work, but I think that's also just starting to work a tiny bit more after having had lots of time not working much.
47:28.13
Britt
So that's probably just work in progress.
47:31.69
Rach
Nice.
47:32.58
Britt
Yeah.
47:33.30
Rach
Mm.
47:34.12
Bec
Yeah. I feel like I've contributed most of the things because whatever I was like, let me tell you these things that helped me, but it's mostly those it's thinking about what actually suits me.
47:46.66
Bec
ah Having a running list weirdly enough of like what every time I declutter, just being like, do not buy this again. Like, don't buy grey. Like, don't buy, like, a halter neck. Like, don't buy pink or chambray. Like, don't – I will never wear, like, a turtleneck as much as I think that, like, anything that's high-waisted, I'm like, no.
48:09.32
Bec
Ooh.
48:10.100
Britt
You don't want to wear high-waisted?
48:11.32
Bec
Okay. No, no, I want to wear high-waisted jeans. I don't want to wear high-neck, anything that's, like, high.
48:19.09
Britt
all
48:19.52
Bec
You know what mean?
48:20.44
Rach
Because of the wiggles?
48:20.72
Bec
Like, that's – and like yeah, yeah, like those shirts, like not those.
48:24.37
Rach
like
48:26.59
Rach
Turtleneck.
48:29.84
Bec
Yes. So, the running list of what doesn't suit me, having a clear plan, ah like at least like a guiding principle in my head. I'm like, what actually suits me? And I think that's it. It's being like, it's not ultimately,
48:43.64
Bec
like my identity isn't ultimately there, but I can have fun with it. Like, you know, fine. The thing costs me five bucks at the op shop. If I don't like it, I'll send it back. But,
48:52.86
Bec
Yeah, it's okay. Also, it's okay to just play with it
49:09.72
Britt
Also, don't buy it just because it's a good deal. It's my big takeaway.
49:13.39
Rach
Mm.
49:19.26
Rach
Yeah, I'm a sucker for that.
49:21.46
Britt
Same. And I always regret it because it never is actually the right thing for me. And I guess I don't go to op shop very much because can't, I actually find it overwhelming walking into an op shop with so much stuff, but I can see how that would be a pit for me because I would a hundred percent buy something that does not fit me in the wrong colour purely because I'm like, but it's so cheap.
49:49.28
Britt
So, I do have to be like, no, you have to really love it to buy it.
49:49.53
Rach
Yeah.
49:53.36
Britt
You don't just buy it because – and I suppose it's the same with like online second-hand shopping. I do a lot of that. Yeah, on Depop.
50:00.64
Bec
Mm-hmm.
50:01.38
Britt
It's like don't just buy – like, no, you didn't like –
50:01.58
Bec
Mm-hmm.
50:06.54
Britt
If it's items that maybe I've tried on before and I know whether they fit me or not, but I'm like, no, but you didn't really want that colour. And just because it's on here, but it's in the other colour, don't buy it.
50:16.88
Britt
Only buy it if it's the thing you really wanted in the first place.
50:23.22
Rach
Yeah, that's fair.
50:25.59
Rach
All right. So, we've discussed getting dressed. We've discussed what are we doing to get dressed in our current mid-30s. And I know we came to any conclusions, but that's okay. At the end of the day, we kind of decided it doesn't really matter.
50:44.34
Britt
Yeah, but I would love to hear from people.
50:46.74
Rach
We would. That is true. we would we would love to have tip.
50:48.95
Britt
If there are any tips or tricks...
50:51.58
Rach
Yes, please.
50:53.32
Bec
Mm-hmm.
50:53.75
Rach
Yeah. And at the end of the day, if you're naked, God will clothe you like the petals of a lily and it's not up to us anyway.
If you enjoyed this episode, sign up for honest stories in your inbox on Wednesdays (March through November) from local Christian women. It’s all free 💛