No One is an Island: The Sequel
Essay by Sarah Burt, photography by Kym van der Plas
In a perfect world, I would support our local school as a Christian family by keeping my children there until the end of their schooling journey. I would keep my children living at home with me. They would continue to be involved in our local church each weekend.
But we don’t live in a perfect world.
A year ago, I was determined not to be seduced by the idol of education. Nothing much has changed in that sphere. I must constantly remind myself that we serve the Lord Jesus and not the shiny aspirations of the world.
Late last year, my eldest, who was 12 at the time, was adamant that he was never ever moving out of home, let alone going to boarding school. His mindset changed when we decided to take a tour of a ‘Christian ethos’ boarding school an hour and a half from our home. I could see he was warming to the idea. When he found out one of his good mates from church would be a boarder there, he was sold. Last weekend, he sat an exam for an academic scholarship to this school and has also applied for a boarding scholarship. This would have been unthinkable for him a year ago.
Things have also gone a bit pear-shaped at his local school. Where once he had a good group of mates through the primary years, he is finding his second year of high school is bringing new challenges. Friends change (often for the worse) and he is finding himself on the outer. He wants to live for Jesus at school, but it is a lonely experience being in the world but not of the world, when the world he’s in is full of inappropriate talk and actions. He craves Christian friends at school to offer him some encouragement, but there are none.
I’m praying he gets one of these scholarships and gets the fresh start he craves. While it is not explicitly a Christian school and the staff are not Christian, we know a number of kids from Christian families boarding there. There will be transport to church, an opportunity to attend a youth group, and plenty of Christian youth (or at least kids from Christian families) his age. He will be well-plugged into support.
Our decision is not yet made and will depend on God’s provision and will. We can’t afford to send him to this school without a scholarship (it would be difficult even with one). I don’t want to work extra days just to pay for school fees; I don’t think I would cope well with this pressure. It would rob me of the time to spend in fellowship with my Bible study growth group ladies. I would be tired and stressed. My son understands this, even though he would be sorely disappointed not to go.
Even if he did get accepted to this school, would it solve all of his problems? Definitely not! No ties and blazers create better children. Sin comes from within. Will there still be plenty of crude talk and behaviour? I expect so. I work at a school, and we all know teenagers are not always very nice to each other. What he does hope will change is a bigger school population to give him a greater chance of finding ‘his people’.
I’m also wrestling with grief as we make this decision – grief that I won’t be supporting my local school if my children leave earlier than expected, grief that there would be an even smaller Christian presence at the school if we withdraw, that there will be less educational opportunities and funding for the students who are left, grief that my children will be living away from me in their formative teenage years. Will that draw me and my husband away from our local church and community if our children are boarding elsewhere? I hope not, but it is a temptation.
How did I go from wanting my children to stay to potentially sending one away? It comes down to my own child’s suffering. My child should not have to stay and pay a high price so I can do ‘mission’. I can do that anyway. Whichever school they attend, there will be kids and families who don’t know Jesus. If my son had been happy to remain at the school and everything had been going well for him, it would be different. Circumstances change and sometimes our ideals need to be flexible.
As we wait until May to find out the scholarship results, I’m reminded of these lyrics from the song, Jesus, All For Jesus:
All of my ambitions, hopes and plans
I surrender these into Your hands
Education is not the be and end all of life. It’s not a decision that if you get it wrong, you’ve stuffed up your life…period. That’s the beauty of grace. We make the best decisions with the wisdom we have at the time. God’s mercies are new every morning.
I don’t want my children’s education to dominate my life these next few years. The greatest education will always be the one they receive at home as my husband and I pass on the greatest treasure of all to our children – the gospel.
What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? – Matthew 16:26
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Sarah Burt—Regular Contributor
Sarah grew up in a non-Christian family in Albany, met some Christian friends in high school, then Jesus became her Lord and Saviour while at University. She now lives with her husband and two boys, a dog, two cats and a number of chooks on a farm near Tambellup in the Great Southern. She is a school officer by day, and enjoys writing fiction and performing in amateur theatre in her spare time.