When my grandad died on April 10th in 2021, he left behind a memoir. When I finally read it, I was also reading Destiny: Learning to Live by Preparing to Die by David Gibson. The two were weirdly complementary. With the first I was saddened by the passing of time; with the second I was almost comforted by it. The first had me dwelling on the past while the second had me anticipating the future. The first helped me to process the death of my grandad. The second helped me to process the inevitable death of all my loved ones, even my own death.

As a young woman I remember wondering who went to the gynecologist. Women seemed to talk about it in the movies, but I didn’t know anyone who had a gynecologist. I thought maybe it was something Americans did. Now I realise–it’s middle aged women who go to the gynecologist. All my friends are doing it. Things just don’t work quite how they should anymore. Copy and repeat.