Rebecca Fergie Rebecca Fergie

Alone in the Expanse

Expanse: a large, open area of land, water or sky. (Cambridge Dictionary) 

Something happens to me when I visit my family’s farm in the Wheatbelt. As we drive away from the outskirts of Perth and into the beautiful green of the Chittering Valley, my shoulders slowly, incrementally begin to release their seemingly boundless tension. We may or may not stop at the Bindoon Bakehaus for a predictably delicious afternoon tea. As we drive further along the Great Northern Highway the scenery tends to become more dominated by the red brown dust I grew up with. The eucalyptus trees frame the highway, as do the endless reflectors guiding the nighttime traveller. Usually there is a sense of relief when we arrive; it is, after all, a drive with small children (let the reader understand). Hugs from Mum and Dad; excitement from the kids; dinner is already cooked for us to eat. Sweet relaxation for me. For a few brief days, the weight of caregiving is partially taken from me and happily lifted by the grandparents who do breakfast, who read Bible stories, who listen to the stories and the requests and cuddle the baby. 

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Rebecca Fergie Rebecca Fergie

The Witnesses

The pot plant sits quietly on the kitchen bench. It’s a cactus, chosen because it is more likely to survive my “care”. It looks like an otherworldly observer. It bears witness to the fresh early light, coffee grounds spilling from the aeropress and me humming cheerfully while fighting with rebellious bits of egg shell in the frying pan. But this cactus also witnesses things which I do not want documented; bench clutter, unwashed dishes, the midnight microwave whirr for insomnia popcorn, the bored opening and closing of the fridge, a frustrated tirade and hot tears. But it doesn’t judge. It’s just there, a silent witness.

My iPhone feels more judgy. I think it knows me better than anyone. It witnesses my slide into anxiety or restless boredom, as I search for a distraction. It witnesses how many beautiful moments I’ve experienced and photographed, yet never returned to dwell on with thankfulness. It witnesses who I reply to. It also witnesses who I complain about and delay replying to. Please don’t put it on the witness list!

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Rebecca Fergie Rebecca Fergie

Winter Holidays: A Photo Essay

Winter holidays means games and puzzles, learning new skills, chasing the sunlight around the house, grumpy chickens, the garden reaching new depths of green, reading endless books, spending mornings crafting, picking flowers, and drinking mugs of tea to survive the chilly days. It means a whole lot of slowing down, being in our space, all together; our favourite place to be

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Rebecca Fergie Rebecca Fergie

Joy Rides a Harley Davidson

I have been married for 6 weeks!  

As we say in Arabic, thousands of congratulations to us!!! 

الف الف الف مبروك !!!!!!!  

Five days before the wedding, I was struck down with gastro and subsequently had a panic attack, ‘How will I cope? How will I look after our overseas guests? How will I enjoy this?’. I had prayed for a joyful wedding, for guests to taste the kingdom and for community to be built. But how could I pull this off? Then the night before the wedding I cried, because I felt anxious, inadequate about being a good hostess and unsure if I ‘deserved’ this gift of marriage? But through the comfort of tears, friends and prayer, Jesus invited me to turn up and receive his good gifts. 

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Rebecca Fergie Rebecca Fergie

For the Love of Sport (and Strawberries)

I get it, I get it - not everyone loves sport. Perhaps sport evokes memories of enforced laps during PE lessons, or spectacular unco-ordinated free-falling on the football field.

Perhaps you would share the perspective of my Year 10 form teacher. Upon looking at my truly ridiculous list of extracurricular activities—at peak craziness I was in four different sporting teams at the same time—she asked incredulously, “When do you have time to have life?” To me, being in four sporting teams was ‘having a life’!

If you are like my form teacher, then I ask for your indulgence for a few minutes. I invite you to step inside the mind of a person like me. A person who genuinely loves throwing, catching, kicking and shooting balls of all shapes and sizes. A person who loves sport. 

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Rebecca Fergie Rebecca Fergie

On Joy and Gastro

What does it take to be joyful?

I pose this question to myself as I sit opposite my husband at our local café/playground. It is a beautiful spot, framed with gum trees and filled with casual weekend vibes. It’s a pleasant 30-odd degrees, the kids are playing, and I have a latte and the paper. It is a picture of the idyllic Saturday morning for our family.

Quite different from the scenario earlier in the week when I had endured a severe case of gastro overnight. As I lay in bed, hoping to get some relief, my four-year-old daughter came and informed me that Daddy had now been sick too. So as I was the better of the two of us, I hauled myself to the lounge room with the minimal aim of ensuring no children injured themselves. Inevitably, a few hours later, one of the children succumbed to the illness. Several loads of washing, much Glen 20 and Hydralite later, I collapsed into bed. What a contrast. 

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Rebecca Fergie Rebecca Fergie

For Those In Search of a Hobby: A Millennial’s Guide to Orchid Hunting

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a millennial in the prime of their life must be in want of a new hobby. From indoor plants to preserving foods, paint-by-numbers, smoking meats, and birdwatching (ahem, that is a raven, not a crow), social media takes great joy in making fun of millennial hobbies. Yet by the time you reach the end of this article and can quote at least three scientific names for orchid species, you and I will be the ones laughing… Probably at ourselves.

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Rebecca Fergie Rebecca Fergie

Birthday Nostalgia

Have you ever seen that series of photos which show elderly people looking in the mirror and seeing the reflection of their much younger selves? Nurses, soldiers, young brides; I find those photos utterly heartbreaking. Within the decaying body and mind is a vibrant youth screaming, “I was young once.”

I’m writing this on the cusp of my forty-second birthday. Only in medieval times would I be considered ‘old’. I have relatively good health and a lot to be thankful for, but recently, I’ve found myself looking at photos with melancholy welling up inside me.

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Rebecca Fergie Rebecca Fergie

Who Am I Now?

This is me. Running. Feet pounding the pavement as the sun rises, warm breath clouding the cool morning air. Music beating in my ears—wakening my brain from the haze of sleep. I take my time. I extend my route on a whim. I sprint the final stretch home. I stretch my limbs. I watch the news while getting ready for the day.

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Rebecca Fergie Rebecca Fergie

Soundscapes of Irritation… And Hope

My top suggestion for “what to bring if you’re coming to visit the Middle East” is…. silicone earplugs. Not foam ones. Silicone putty ones, that you use for kids with grommets who go swimming. I speak from nine years of trial and error to find a way to a good nights sleep. Sound pollution is not a concept here. 

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