Have you seen the trees,

that stood before my time and yours

Have you walked among them

and felt a peace beyond tomorrow 

Have you placed your hand against their bark

And remembered how to breathe

  What if they’re upset?

                                                  starts the slow descent 

                                               into the cave. What if

                                            they’re mad at me? 

                                          I squelch into dirt. What if 

                                      they hate me? I sink deeper    

                                    and deeper into the earth. 

                                   I’m stuck. 

                                 Limestone

                              slowly collapses

                                around me

                                       I’m stagnating.

                                    Fear of man is turning inwards,      

                                            spiralling, making everyone

                                                    happy to feel safe, but

                                                          the cave is airless.

The other morning I was caught up in a daydream

Walking through rows of tomato vines

They were taller than me, wildly twisting up to the sun

I was lost in a food forest

The soil damp beneath my feet

They weren’t just any tomatoes

But my tomatoes

Organic, heirloom, self-seeded from the year before

Accidental and deliberate

Wild and tamed

Tethered and free

I don’t know how she got in, but she likes to call out the dust on my blinds, the dishes in my sink, the tone in my voice.

I tick something off the list. Guilt slips her arm over my shoulder, whispers in my ear about the three other things I didn’t do. 

When I get something done, she slips into bed next to me, touches my face and says, “But honey, you didn't do it very well.”

But where is your voice?

You remind me of someone I know

You’re an echo of the Creator

You’re here

I can touch you, hold you

I can press my face against you, and feel you near