With God and With Others

By Madeleine Richards

Photo by Kym VdP

Community is beautiful and needed but I haven’t always believed this. I once thought I could grow in my faith without Christian community. So much so that I chose to leave church because I believed I didn’t “need it”. This was a selfish and prideful viewpoint, but did I see it as that at the time? Most certainly not. I was blinded by my own behaviour. I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought I was protecting myself. I thought it’d help me to heal. I couldn’t be further from the truth.

My viewpoint of not needing the body of Christ came from the hurt I faced in the church I grew up in. I felt judged and confused by certain words spoken over me and leadership let me down at different times, so the thought grew in my mind, “if I leave, I won’t need to deal with all the bad things that go on within church” and “I will be safe and away from the pain and control.” At the time, I truly believed I was helping myself by leaving.

It was the kindness, grace and patience of God that led me back to Christian community. Deep down I knew my soul craved it, but I wasn’t fully aware of it until a coffee date with a friend. As we drank coffee and ate pastries she began to talk about wanting to go back to church. In that very moment, my soul screamed, “oh yes, I want that too.” God spoke through my friend in a profound way. 

Prior to this conversation, I felt nervous and afraid to revisit church. I felt, because I had voluntarily left and with a negative attitude, I wouldn’t be welcomed back. I believe He knew I’d need someone who had been out of church for a while as well, to encourage me along and to speak truth into my heart that this simply wasn’t true. We both had different reasons for leaving but could relate to each other when it came to the daunting task of ‘finding a church to call home’. He used my friend who is a part of His body to bring me back into the body!

Being back at regular corporate gatherings has shown me the valuable truth; I need the body of Christ. We weren’t designed to go at it alone. I see this so beautifully articulated when I watch members of my congregation make meals for those in need, when I see them selflessly volunteering their time to serve as their capacity and seasons allow. I see good leadership shown as the elders shepherd their congregation lovingly and compassionately. 

For so long I wanted to thrive, achieve and follow Jesus on my own. The more I ran after this solo life, the more I was rebelling against the life God calls us to. Everything I thought I’d receive outside of church was everything I could only receive within it! Safety, goodness, healing, support and love. With time, I found that it wasn’t just about receiving, it was also about giving. The desire to give grew gradually, as I watched the people within my church love others as Jesus shows His love.

My heart breaks because a safe, healing, supportive and loving community hasn’t been the reality for many in church. This is something I feared I wouldn’t find after leaving. Although, speaking from my lived experience, it’s truly possible and there are good communities out there. Perfect by no means, as none of us are. We’ll make mistakes and that’s where grace and forgiveness need to come in. It doesn’t mean we ignore or disregard the hurt and wrong, but it does mean we endeavour to have grace for others because Christ has so much grace for us. More than we can comprehend. 

I’ve been on the ongoing journey of forgiving those who hurt me at my previous church so I can step into freedom to love others well at my current  church. It’s by learning more about the heart of God that I’m able to forgive others and it’s not easy but with Him, I am able. So, although these places aren’t perfect, they’re full of people willing to grow in love, grace, goodness and peace.

Something else I’m learning as I continually participate in Christian community is that my experience at my previous church wasn’t all bad. There were many wonderful people who spoke life and encouragement into my heart and mind. Shout out to the children’s church and worship pastors who encouraged me to sing and who were fun and passionate!

I’m also discovering God will always lead us to the right opportunities and spaces in His right timing. It might be for a season or long term, but He always knows what we need for the circumstances we find ourselves in. He knew I’d need church community to support me during a very challenging time in my life. The support I received during this time was second to none. The prayers, messages, food and company all made me feel so seen, known and loved as I faced one of the darkest valleys to date. He also knew I’d need a friend to pray with one Sunday who really ministered to my heart. As tears streamed down my face, she prayed comforting words over me that made me hope again. 

He knew I’d need to sing worship songs to Him to uplift my downcast soul as well as good teaching and profound conversations. He knew I might need help with getting to and from Church and events and there were people available to carpool. He also knew I needed to grow in serving others. He never coerced me. It was with time and slow leading that I started to crave to not only be helped, but to help others too.

Not doing it alone is nothing short of powerful. To be living closely with God and others is how He desires for us to live. My faith has been strengthened and uplifted because of the ways God speaks through His body of believers, the church.

If this resonated with you, sign up for honest stories in your inbox from Christian women in Western Australia on Wednesdays. It’s free 😉

Maddie Richards - Regular Contributor

Madeleine resides in the sleepy town of Perth WA where she mostly spends her days writing and singing. When not creating songs, she is found down by the seaside or at her favourite local coffee shop. Above all, God is her muse. You can find more on Instagram @toasttoastbaby