Defining Word: Community 

Community: people living in one particular area or people who are considered a unit because of their common interests, social group or nationality 

1. I used to work as a Clinical Psychologist Registrar in private practice. My bio on the website said, “Rebecca has an interest in perinatal mental health.” I don’t have specific training in perinatal mental health, but I do have training in trauma, and the two seemed to go hand in hand. Week after week, postpartum women wept on my couch. They recited litanies of traumatic childhoods, traumatic births, romantic relationships fraying under strain, feeding difficulties, sleep deprivation, and colicky babies. I asked, “Who are the people you can call on? Who came to the hospital with you? Who can hold your baby while you take a nap?” Week after week, weeping women looked at me blankly. Their looks communicated, What do you mean, other people? There is no village. I am alone. What kind of psychologist are you? Don’t you listen? I need strategies! Week after week, I told them, “I’m not surprised you are depressed.”

I’ve heard the question, “Is church for extroverts?” asked a few times, and I have to say a hearty YES! I often feel misunderstood as an introvert. This article was born from many frustrating conversations with my more extroverted husband concerning chatting after church and at Christian conferences.

 I don’t always fit the stereotype of quiet, shy, stuck up, or awkward. I am a former librarian, but I don’t live alone, surrounded by a hoard of cats. Sometimes, like many introverts, I can be loud and social, the life of the party and up for a good time. The key difference between introverts and extroverts is how they recharge.

When you finish a long day of work, or come home after an epic party, what do you feel like doing? If you need time alone, you’re probably an introvert. If you need more ‘people time’ to give you a pick-me-up, then you most likely fall into the extrovert camp. Some people swing between the two.

So, what’s it like for an introvert at church?

candles are lit

lamps are warm

fire is on

floor is swept

table is set

wine is poured

See the galahs, the galahs, 

sitting on the powerlines! 

See how they laugh, they laugh, 

like mums on the sidelines 

Community is beautiful and needed but I haven’t always believed this. I once thought I could grow in my faith without Christian community. So much so that I chose to leave church because I believed I didn’t “need it”. This was a selfish and prideful viewpoint, but did I see it as that at the time? Most certainly not. I was blinded by my own behaviour. I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought I was protecting myself. I thought it’d help me to heal. I couldn’t be further from the truth.