Defining Word: Community 

Community: people living in one particular area or people who are considered a unit because of their common interests, social group or nationality 

1. I used to work as a Clinical Psychologist Registrar in private practice. My bio on the website said, “Rebecca has an interest in perinatal mental health.” I don’t have specific training in perinatal mental health, but I do have training in trauma, and the two seemed to go hand in hand. Week after week, postpartum women wept on my couch. They recited litanies of traumatic childhoods, traumatic births, romantic relationships fraying under strain, feeding difficulties, sleep deprivation, and colicky babies. I asked, “Who are the people you can call on? Who came to the hospital with you? Who can hold your baby while you take a nap?” Week after week, weeping women looked at me blankly. Their looks communicated, What do you mean, other people? There is no village. I am alone. What kind of psychologist are you? Don’t you listen? I need strategies! Week after week, I told them, “I’m not surprised you are depressed.”

Who should I invite to my birthday party? A decades-old question that is harder to answer than it is to decide on the right outfit for the occasion. Harder than pulling off the trickiest cake recipe, and harder to work out than what to do to celebrate! I’d like it to be small. I’d prefer it if people knew each other. I don’t want to offend anyone by not inviting them. It’s just too complicated and I’d really, genuinely, prefer not to do anything anyway.

As a Christian, I know God wants me to love others. And I want to do that widely and openly, without favouritism or exclusivity. But I also crave deep friendship. And I feel real tension about doing both of those things well. A tension that is brought home to me every year when I briefly contemplate the idea of getting a few people together to ‘celebrate’ my gradual aging.

My fellow ruminators, worriers, and 3am spirallers, welcome! 

The world may not understand your anxiety, but never fear, I’ve got you. Throughout history, there have been those who are super chill, and yeah, they may have a better time than us, but they’re also the ones who get eaten by crocodiles… Right? Anxiety helps us survive. The world will tell you to worry less, but I want us to lift our game! To that end, here are 21 easy steps to worry more. Happy spiralling!

1. When faced with an unexpected difficulty or hard thing, don’t stay in the present and wonder, “Do I need to deal with this today?” Instead, ask yourself, “What if?” and ponder all the terrible possibilities. 

I am learning that friendship needs a sustained curiosity to last the distance.  Last week I sat by a pool with a couple of good friends. We sat in the shade, ate snacks and swapped book recommendations between dips into the glistening water.  It has been over fifteen years since we forged our friendship. One of us has an appetite for bike riding, another loves attending live country music and the third enjoys ocean swimming. Perhaps these interests have not changed much over the years, but we have. We attend different kinds of churches, have different strengths and have not followed the life paths that we expected for ourselves when we were in our twenties.  Nonetheless, we enjoy a warm curiosity towards one another that has sustained and deepened our friendship. If we had assumed on being the same people that we were when we met, our friendships may not have continued. 

Canoeing down the river

Gentle current moves me.

Ebbing, flowing water

And sunlight, all surrounding.

And as I go 

I’m leaving places,

Tearfully farewelling faces,

But the still, small voice,

He gently whispers,

“It’s time to let go”. 

See the galahs, the galahs, 

sitting on the powerlines! 

See how they laugh, they laugh, 

like mums on the sidelines